Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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