I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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