Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
