I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
