MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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