running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
