just tell him i said nine months
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
