I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
