Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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