I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
