It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
