A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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