If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
