What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
