maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
