i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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