you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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