sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
