All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
