found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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