there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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