In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
