i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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