I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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