So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
