He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
