I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
