We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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