i don't like sucking hair
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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