It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
