So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
