Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
