with your own penis?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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