How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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