My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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