Just fell off a train. Bad.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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