dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
