Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
