New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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