Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
