i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
