she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
