It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
