Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
