Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
