seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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