First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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