He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
