so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
