the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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