My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
